I don’t know how to do a fancy poll on here…or more like I can’t be bothered right now to try. But here’s the situation:
It’s exam time (*GASP*) so there’s always the mad scamble for notes, past exams, answers to all the work you did over the semester but had no idea if you did correctly and anything with sugar in it (I’m trying to break the spell that this box of super-yum chocolate chip cookies has over me. I’m weak. And I just got chocolate on my keyboard…).
But what do you do when certain people repeatedly ask you for notes when you know they haven’t put in work themselves. They’ve partied over the weekdays and weekends that you’ve spent in the library and somehow slid through the weeks that lead up to exams. They’ve sat across from you in tutorials, during which you suppose they’d be typing just as madly as you to get all the answers to that week’s questions down, yet are now asking you for your complete set of notes to those questions because (I quote), “they’re just sort of hit and miss, I didn’t know what was going on”.
You know from experience that notes get passed around more quickly and easily than…oh jeez I don’t know, I’m too tired to be witty – but they get passed around even after someone has said “please don’t pass them around”.
But I HATE not being able to help someone when they’ve asked for it. Like to the extent that I’ve gotten myself into trouble and put my own interests aside just to be able to help. I’m not saying that to get a pat on the back – it’s a curse as it is anything else. It comes down to the fact that I just don’t know how to say “no”. More than wanting to keep the person as a ‘friend’ – which I don’t really care to much about – it’s more that I feel bad for them and don’t want them to be stuck and lost.
What would you do?
p.s. can coffee be a substitute for vegetables because it’s a bean? I’m thinking of skipping actual meals for the next couple weeks…
p.p.s. I’M MOVING TO THE BEACH NEXT SEMESTER!!! Will post pics 
Filed under: Aussie life, university life
I know exactly how you feel Deeja, I can’t say no either – well at least to people I don’t know too well.
Why is it that we can generally say no to our family and close friends but have trouble saying the small 2 letter word to strangers?
Well.. I share the first time.. then if I see people not reciprocating I would not share again.
PS. if it spreads out and can cause you trouble (like solutions to assignments), just say no.
Oh Deeja, say no! I know its sucks and you will feel bad but honestly you’ve put so much time and effort into your work and its not cool that someone who doesn’t put forth the same effort should benefit from your work. If the other person was working as hard as you were and having trouble and asking for help that’s different, but when someone basically wants you to do the work FOR them while they’re out partying it up that’s not ok. Say it with me. NO!
Oh and yes coffee counts as a bean! I’ve also learned a lot of new recipes so call me the minute you’re off the plane!
Say you can’t. People DO pass out notes and if it takes you time and effort to come up with it, they should stop doing that.
I give out my flash cards sometimes even though they take me an awful lot of time to make…but I don’t give them to habitual ‘offenders’: people who ask for them every single term!
You need to eat nuts…they’re good brain food. Coffee counts as food for me so I can’t lecture you about its averse effects on your health!
Best of luck with your exams!
Sorry I have to be a nutrition nazi here and say coffee doesn’t count as a vegetable. Take care of your health and let those other slackers take care of their own damn education
Good luck!
Hey baby,
I had the same issue with this girl I knew in the first year of my undergrad. She asked for ALL my notes. Basically I stopped answering her calls. She lent me some past papers and I suppose she expected me to ‘GIVE’ her all my notes as payback. Now 2 or 3 classes are ok, but if you want all my notes and have NONE of yours to share with me that is a different story.
I know it hurts good people to lie. But sometimes when you avoid the question it gives them the answer ‘indirectly’. When she asks you, tell her you’ve lent them to someone else from another tutorial, or you left them at home (and keep forgetting them), and when she asks you again say that you lent them to your cousin who was visiting from Toronto. Eventually when she/he asks for the third time tell them that you need them to study and are not avaliable even for 5 minutes by the photocopier.
People are going to mooch of you constantly in university. I knew a girl who cheated off every exam. And I thought ’she will pay in the end’. Next time I saw her, she was in grad school.
You are not helping your peers in class when you are assisting the slackers get though. You are becoming a lawyer and inshallah you will have to speak up for justice, start doing it now. You don’t have to give them a lecture, just be smart and careful about whom you choose to help. They are not helping themselves by slacking.
Hope this helps!
xoxo
S
LOL.. happens in law school all the time. Helping out someone once is okay, helping someone out all the time is not really helping them, because they’ll never learn how to do anything on their own. Just make excuses until they stop asking you!
Considering the number of people who took notes, tutorial answers and assignments from me; I should have been awarded atleast 12 degrees.
The thing is, these party-people-who-don’t-give-a-shit-about-class-because-they-know-there-is-some-weak-person-handing-out-notes (that’s a long description), not only do they don’t give a crap about class; they don’t give a crap about you. If it were you in their place they wouldn’t help. You have to say no. A couple of times. You’re really not helping them. Or yourself!!!!